Superpower

What would your superpower be?

Move over, Pfeiffer

Everyone’s had this conversation. The most common choices are invisibility, telepathy and the ability to fly. It’s a good discussion to have because you get to find out who the weirdo who wants X-ray vision is, so you can maintain a safe distance.

Yes, I’m talking about you. You there, in the corner. Stop staring. You don’t have X-ray vision yet.

OR DO YOU?

Every discussion needs a dullard to give a boring answer and I am she. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t want a conscience. Let’s face it, what good does it do us? You spend your whole life thinking about other people and for what? I don’t believe in karma, I’m not particularly religious, so what’s the incentive? Caring? It’s for losers and it sucks.

It sucks great big mouldy balls.

No, really, it’s a drain.

I used to be more interesting and wish for death laser beams I could shoot from my eyes, but if I had a conscience, I’d probably feel guilty about all the killing.

Probably.

Hear me out before you dismiss my theory. Imagine a life without a conscience.

No responsibilities.

Nobody’s feelings to take into account.

The ability to tell lies to make yourself sound good.

Stealing. Even sweets from a baby, which we know is the BEST kind of stealing. Unless there are toys to be stolen, then that trumps sweets. You have no conscience though, so you can steal both. Screw the kid. Kids cry, it’s natural. Wevs.

Look at the current world leaders. Do you think any of them struggle to sleep at night, despite wars and arms trades?

Telling grown women who put scrunchies in their hair, they make terrible choices.

Like a house? Take it. Make people homeless.

Become a dictator and RULE THE WORLD.

Dislike someone? Punch them in the face or even better, break their spirit. Some physical scars will fade, some mental ones won’t.

Tell people they’re undesirable, fat, skinny, too tall, too short, ugly, stupid. Or more fun, make them FEEL undesirable, fat, skinny, too tall, too short, ugly and stupid.

Does that all sound horrendous or a bit Katie Hopkinsy? That’s because you’ve either got a conscience, or you’re in denial that you’re capable of doing those things.

Ever been desperate enough to do any of those things? Hand on heart, can you say you haven’t done any of them? I’ve known people who have and continue to do so.

Have you ever wanted to, but been too scared or been held back by your principles? The need to do the right thing? What if a really close friend did one of those things, would you forgive them? Have you forgiven them?

I have and then wondered if they ever felt guilty.

I know they don’t. No conscience. I wonder if they compartmentalise? Maybe THAT should be my superpower. Maybe they should become a politician? No guilt. 

So are we in agreement that a conscience only serves to hold us back? Good. 

What would your superpower be?

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